On Black Friday
the Barest of things...
We would like to take a moment to mourn the deaths of the 1,013 humans that were trampled to death on Black Friday. Still heavy with turkey, stuffing, and wine, they stood little chance in the competition for the super limited supply of cheap technology that will be outdated by April. Valiant was their effort as they sped from their dining room tables, wasting no time to bid farewell to Aunt Edna before rushing to their place in line at their local mall. What began as nervous excitement gave way to panic and rage once storefront doors were opened. Passive aggressive nudging quickly evolved into outright brawls and brutal acts of violence. In a true display of Darwinism, the slow, the weak, and the morbidly obese fell to the ground where their dreams of a $4 flat screen were literally trampled.
On this Small Business Saturday, let us say thanks to those that survived to support local businesses in peace. May the holiday season not be tarnished with any more unnecessary bloodshed. Good luck and God speed